Stories of Guests from MycoMeditations Psilocybin Retreat
By MycoMeditations
This interview series brings you inside the experiences of people who joined us at our psychedelic retreat to heal with psilocybin therapy.
We asked Damon, a man in his 50s from Florida, six questions to share about his experiences during his retreat week. Below you will read about Damon’s journey to heal the grief following the death of his first wife 10 years prior, as well as letting go of the damage left behind from his years of strict religious upbringing, which still lingered in his life.
. . . . .
What kind of support network did you have, and how did they react to your challenges before you sought psychedelic therapy?
My primary support has been my wife who recognized that the upcoming 10-year anniversary of my first wife’s death might need special attention and encouraged me to practice self-care through travel. When I expressed interest in psilocybin therapy instead, she was completely supportive and continued to be encouraging throughout my experience, genuinely happy for the healing I was experiencing. One of my sons with psilocybin experience was also very supportive, advising me to “surrender and let go” during the mushroom experience. After leaving the high-demand religion that stole my identity for fifty years, I’ve been rebuilding my support network with people who accept me authentically, without judgment.
What advice, insight, or experience sealed your decision to try psilocybin therapy?
The therapeutic benefits of psilocybin had interested me for several years as I studied the research on processing grief and trauma. What truly moved me were the healing stories from both people I knew personally and others who had shared their experiences publicly. As the 10-year anniversary of my first wife’s death approached, I felt a deep need for profound healing rather than just distraction. It took tremendous courage to overcome decades of indoctrination against psychedelics and my fear of losing control, but I trusted in the professional guidance, therapeutic environment, and careful dosing approach at MycoMeditations. Ultimately, I knew this challenging work needed to be done before the anniversary milestone.
What metaphors or imagery came to you during your therapy that helped you understand your life’s journey better?
During my second session, I was invited to “see my home” and traveled through an undulating tunnel to a peaceful, warm space that looked like being inside a large jellyfish. As my body shook, I sensed fifty years of high-demand religion being cleansed from my system—all the toxic shame, control, and identity theft leaving my body. I experienced my heart expanding with infinite space to fully love everyone in my circle, including myself, which was a profound and powerful experience. In my third session, I found myself back in the womb, feeling both protected and yet absorbing the strife from outside, which was a powerful metaphor for how I’ve carried others’ burdens. The shedding of these layers revealed the truths that I don’t need to be perfect, things don’t have to make sense, and I’m not responsible for others’ emotions.
Can you describe a fond moment that you shared with another guest or a facilitator?
A particularly meaningful moment was when Chris, my facilitator, sat with me during my third session as I narrated the painful experiences surrounding my wife’s death. I shared how hard it was watching her suffer with our daughter’s drug addiction, the stress of chartering a jet to get her to our son’s wedding across the country days before she died from cancer, and the trauma of being beside her as she died at 1am while fireworks celebrated the new year. Throughout my difficult sharing, Chris remained present and supportive, creating a safe space for my healing. Later, as the intensity began to wane, we sat together by the water, talking and reflecting on the experience. That human connection after such profound vulnerability was incredibly valuable and taught me so much about the importance of our connections with others.
How do you incorporate the lessons from the retreat into your everyday life?
I’m continuing to discover who I am underneath all the high-demand religious programming and trauma, approaching this exploration with curiosity rather than fear. I practice trusting that others can manage their own emotions and comfort, which has lifted an enormous weight from my shoulders. I no longer feel the compulsion to make sense of everything or the terror of being wrong. Most importantly, I’m learning to fully love and accept myself as I am—something I’ve struggled with my entire life. I’m committed to giving others the same gift of total acceptance without judgment that I experienced at the retreat. The lightness I feel in my body and the clarity in my mind remind me daily of the healing that took place, and I remain grateful to the brave version of myself who chose to be vulnerability to experience this healing.
In one sentence, what can you say about this experience to somebody considering psychedelic/psilocybin therapy?
If you’re seeking profound healing and are willing to surrender, trust the process, and face your fears, psilocybin therapy in a safe, supportive environment at MycoMeditations can accomplish years of healing in a remarkably short time.
. . . . .
If Damon’s story inspires you to embark on your own healing experience with psilocybin therapy at MycoMeditations, we invite you to apply for one of our retreats!
Stories of Guests from MycoMeditations Psilocybin Retreat
By MycoMeditations
This interview series brings you inside the experiences of people who joined us at our psychedelic retreat to heal with psilocybin therapy.
We asked Aaron, a man in his 50s from Colorado, six questions to share about his experiences during his retreat week. Below you will read about Aaron’s challenging journey on his path to finding wholeness, which had him revisit memories of sexual abuse and lasting shame arising from his sexuality.
. . . . .
How would you describe the challenges and struggles you faced often before the retreat?
Before the retreat, my life was characterized by professional excellence and accomplishment that was coupled with constant inner turmoil, self-criticism and loathing coupled with anxiety. I have a history of sexual abuse—I had been molested by some girls when I was 4 and also by my friend’s dad when I was 8. However, I had been telling myself stories stories that minimized these experiences for most of my life. I also suffered from imposter syndrome that was heightened by my time spent in the Navy under the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy forbidding homosexual behavior. I had deep-seated self-loathing because I was gay and could never change it, despite all the reparative therapy sessions, demands of my mother, and the church’s condemnation. Even when my spiritual beliefs matured to the point that I no longer felt condemned by God, I still condemned myself and found it impossible to love myself. Therefore, I did not know what love really looks like, nor was I able to offer it to others. I always had one foot out the door in life, and had trouble just being.
Was there a particular event or point of realization that pushed you toward trying psychedelic therapy?
I have a friend who went to MycoMeditations years ago. I have seen the changes in his life and had a chance to ask him about it again last year. He knew of my story of sexual abuse growing up and also my struggles with anxiety and being present in the moment. He recommended that I read Michael Pollan’s book How To Change Your Mind. I did and was intrigued. The more I researched venues and their methodologies, the more I kept coming back to MycoMeditations. Their procedures, staffing and operation seemed to be the most professional and safe. I was able to watch Beth Law’s testimony linked through their YouTube channel and that gave me the courage to actually pull the trigger and go! Beth’s story spoke to me as only another veteran can understand.
How did your perception of yourself change during this retreat?
Before the retreat, I did not know how to love myself, nor others. I had a deep seated homophobia and hatred for my being. Because of my childhood church’s condemnation and my mother’s rejection, I have always had an underlying hatred for myself because I have always been homosexual. There were parts of my own soul I just did not want to accept and love. That has all changed in a dramatic way: I have managed to find love and acceptance for myself and also forgiveness for myself and others. I finally feel at peace with myself and the world in general. I have more patience and presence, and feel like I am finally whole!
I have always felt like I didn’t have the whole story, like a piece of my soul was missing. I’ve spent my life looking for something yet not knowing what it was that I was looking for. I used to spend hours staring out over the horizon whether it was on a beach or on the catwalks of the ships I was serving on in the Navy. When I was flying, I would intently stare at the water below, scanning, searching. At Myco, during the first trip, I was blasted out over the horizon and found it: it was me. A sobbing 8 year old boy, alone and terrified. I found the piece that was missing and it was me!
Can you share a story of a connection or interaction that was meaningful to you during the retreat?
During the second session, as I sat in my own anger and self-loathing, my guide Mark came over and asked if he could just sit with me and put an arm on my shoulder. He sensed I was struggling and holding back. His tender presence and physical size (he is twice my size and half my age so I felt like he could kick anyone’s ass who may show up in my nightmares) made me feel completely safe, something that is rare in my experience. Something just broke loose deep inside my soul. I started sobbing, and as Mark held me, it was no longer the 58 year old me, but rather it was that 8 year boy who had been molested on the living room floor by my friend’s dad. I sobbed as all the violent memories and sensations of the whole ordeal came forth, because you see, the tale I had been telling myself is what I had to do in order to survive. The truth is that I was brutally raped by my friend’s dad, then threatened with death when it was over. Mark’s presence created the safe space for that memory to return, and for me to experience the raw brutality of it all. Then, the crushing rejection by my mom when I went to her days later, sobbing, but could only get the single word out, “Mom?” before I was shut down for being a baby and crying. I remembered all the other sexual abuse in all their gory detail as well, and in the process, I claimed my agency, I claimed my memories, and I reclaimed my wholeness and being! It was a rugged experience to go through, but the result is that for the first time, I feel whole! I feel love and acceptance for myself, and I have my own power and agency again!
Can you describe a belief about yourself that you’ve managed to change or improve thanks to your experiences during the retreat?
I used to hate myself and my sexuality and being. I was prone to emotional swings with rage that would erupt followed by deep melancholy. Now I have found the forgiveness and love I used to hear about but never experienced for my own soul. I see all of myself: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. I am finally feeling a new sensation of self-love, self-acceptance, and self-nurturing. I have managed to set some firm boundaries around myself and cut off some unhealthy people and situations while I take the time I need to integrate and heal. I could never before resist the feeling of letting someone down who needed me, even when I knew they were using me. Now, I have cut those people off, even my own toxic family. My friends have stated that they have never seen me so resolute, yet so present and intentional in the way I have shown up for the true people in my life.
In one sentence, what can you say about this experience to somebody considering MycoMeditations?
I would tell whoever is considering this type of retreat this, “I am the last person who people would think would go (I’m a former Navy Squadron Commander) but I went and I will forever be grateful because I am changed, I am better, and I am whole.
. . . . .
If Aaron’s story inspires you to embark on your own healing experience with psilocybin therapy at MycoMeditations, we invite you to apply for one of our retreats!
Guest Interview Series – Aaron
Stories of Guests from MycoMeditations Psilocybin Retreat
By MycoMeditations
This interview series brings you inside the experiences of people who joined us at our psychedelic retreat to heal with psilocybin therapy.
We asked Beverly—a woman in her 60’s from Florida—six questions to understand what a typical day was like for her before MycoMeditations, how she made the decision to try psilocybin therapy, the key moments of her transformative week, and more.
. . . . .
What was a typical day like for you before attending the retreat?
My normal day began with me sleeping very late every single day, anywhere between 9 AM to 1 PM. All of my friends and family have always teased me about not being normal with my sleeping habits. Then I would simply function. There seemed to be little real joy in my life. I told myself I was happy, but was I really? I kept thinking. I would commit to social engagements but back out at the last minute. If I did participate in gatherings, I could not wait to leave. I worried about everything possible.
Looking back, what moment or event signaled to you that you needed a change?
I had been on antidepressants for 35 years due to a situational incident. I wanted to “feel” something again. So, with the help of my Medical Doctor, I began to wean myself off of my crutch. I knew that I still needed help with my severe anxiety, so my search began. I came across the Soft White Unberbelly interview on YouTube with Justin Townsend, CEO and co-owner of MycoMeditations. I felt, after watching this video, that I had found the answer. As my husband said after watching the video for the first time, “Hunny, I think we are onto something.”
Can you describe an eye-opening moment you experienced during the retreat?
I cannot say there was just one epiphany, I can say there were several and they were all profound. After my first dose, the chatter—the constant replaying of events in my life—stopped. I could actually rest when I laid down to go to sleep. I was waking up early! And I felt good and wanted to eat breakfast with the group and get my day started!
Was there a particular session or moment that stands out as pivotal to your experience?
My second dose was very hard. I even called it “brutal” at the time. I felt the profoundness and clarity of something that had deeply affected me for most of my life. As difficult as the trip was, I was able to let it go. I was able to put it behind me with kindness towards myself. Now, I don’t feel the blame and shame that I have carried for years. The third trip was enlightening. It opened my heart to new ideas of how to be happy and live my life to the fullest from this point forward.
How has your self-esteem or self-image changed since completing the retreat?
My anxiety has gone away! And now, by not needing to sleep so much now, I realize I was much more depressed than I thought. That has gone away too! I’m feeling happiness and I want to smile and sing and dance—at home—of course! Lol I want to have fun once more! And I now feel that I deserve this.
In one sentence, what can you say about this experience to somebody considering a MycoMeditations retreat?
Do your due diligence but don’t overthink it, just do it.
. . . . .
If Beverly’s story inspires you to embark on your own healing experience with psilocybin therapy at MycoMeditations, we invite you to apply for one of our retreats!
Guest Interview Series – Beverly
Stories of Guests from MycoMeditations Psilocybin Retreat
By MycoMeditations
This interview series brings you inside the experiences of people who joined us at our psychedelic retreat to heal with psilocybin therapy.
We asked Kenny—a man in his 30’s from Washington—six questions to better understand his life before attending MycoMeditations, key insights from the retreat, how life has been since returning home, and more.
. . . . .
Can you share a particular low point or difficult period that exemplifies what your life was like before the retreat?
Over the last decade, life has hit me with its hardest punches. I have experienced multiple deaths and the closure of personal relationships, losing my family identity and core support system all in a short period of time. All this compiled trauma and stress became unbearable and felt suffocating. I was unhappy and exhausted all the time. I would leave work and not want to see or speak to anyone. I also realized many of my friendships were unsupportive and quite superficial. I felt alone and ultimately lost in life.
How did the people in your life respond when you told them you’ve decided to go on this journey?
To be honest, when I knew 100 percent that I was going to commit to this journey, I didn’t tell anyone. I felt that this was my journey for self-healing, and I was not going to let anyone convince me or talk me out of it due to their lack of understanding of the mushrooms or their preconceived assumptions. Now returning home and getting integrated back into my life. I felt I made a wise decision to keep my journey with myself.
How did your experiences during the retreat connect you with feelings or memories that were previously inaccessible or difficult to handle?
When I first came to the retreat, I had my prepared list of all the traumas and issues that I wanted to resolve while I was there. However, the magical mushrooms showed me something else during my time. It showed me what I needed to see. I was able to tap into suppressed emotions and thoughts that I had buried over the years that I needed to address and tackle head-on. It was challenging, but I’m glad that I trusted the staff and the overall process.
What advice or insight from a facilitator stuck with you?
I received a lot of guidance and advice that helped me navigate some difficult emotions and past traumas. One key piece of advice that was told to me and that will follow me forever is, “Let it go, it no longer serves you anymore” and “Be kind to yourself”. Such simple advice, but the impact those words have on me has changed tremendously. I used to be a person who used anger and fear as a tool to control my decisions in life. I feel I no longer need it and it had its place in my life and now it’s time to let it go and move forward in life.
What’s the most significant change you’ve noticed in yourself since the retreat?
I feel at peace with where I’m at in life at this moment. Before the retreat I felt like I was wasting my life, watching myself from a third-person view. The retreat has been so fulfilling in so many ways as now I have tools to help me cope with trauma and has given me a new perspective on life.
In one sentence, what can you say about this experience to somebody considering a MycoMeditations retreat?
I will quote Nike’s iconic expression: “Just Do It”. This retreat has been life-changing for me and the other members who participated with me. The mushrooms will show you what you need instead of what you want. Please come open-minded and ready to challenge yourself and lastly enjoy the ride. What you might experience might not make sense to you at first, but over time your mind will process it and you will get the clarity and breakthrough that you need. My only regret is that I didn’t do this journey sooner.
. . . . .
If Kenny’s story inspires you to embark on your own healing experience with psilocybin therapy at MycoMeditations, we invite you to apply for one of our retreats!
